Absent Friend

I dedicate this site to the loves I've lost.  In truth though my one girlfriend that lasted 8months did a lot by way of removing some of the unknowns.  And went some way that I might cure, heal the pains, scars and lingering anguish associated with csa and social ptsd.  She wasn't any of the few.  2 mainly, though secondarily I could count 1 or two more that had or might have had any chance in life with.

In truth, this seems to have been focussed around one main person.  Where the main link seemed to have been work related for a higher purpose.  I'm told a close second; and possibly a better heart match, though not as strong as the first so was not linked to the work side but the ...? non-work side, the times when the work was done I guess.  Which meant no.1 was destined to become a close friend.

Further I have guessed for some time, though I can't prove it as looking her up would be unhealthy as she has made it clear that she doesn't want to know- but guessed that somehow she knows the 'lesser 2' -(not an insult just didn't know how else to explain them annonymously; ...)

Something happened a long the way to ruin the chances of this.  I won't go into this gor if you say too much about yourself and open your heart for too long saying everything -you can lose your mind.  Not something I am prepared to do.  But it was karmic, a challenge disguised as an aid that wasn't featured as part of the plan where the life had already gone wrong but until that point that I call 2kv; it would've been repairable.

At this point in time though I have found "number 1".  (and note I'm using numbers becaus -I'm a man and so I've forgotten their names!: Only kidding- it is for the sake of annonymity and protecting the innocent of course).  However despite the dreams we shared and the last chance we had does not feel the same any more.  I must respect this but as there is nothing further by way of some-one to help with lifes burdens, I am therefore losing and destined to lose the battle.  And so these THREE blogs and this bio will one day become my Eulogy of love -lost.

Best Wishes